I am Losing Myself.

With every high comes a low. But not ever low comes from a high. And right now, I am at the lowest point I have ever been in my entire life. I feel like I am losing myself. I'm falling behind in life and in what is expected of me. My facade that I try so hard to hold up is slowly fading. I don't know what to say except that I'm scared.

I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.

Each time your lips utter a lie, I wish you knew that I always know it.

You know what they say about standing on two boats?

I have on leg on a wooden raft and the other on the edge of a ferry.

And this part of you is what makes me step away from the steadier board.

Away from you.

So please, don't make me step any further away.

You know those people who talk about you behind your back? That's where they belong, behind your back.

it's okay

I know you've lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it's irrelevant. You cannot control the depth of another wound of another soul inflicts on you.

Which is why I'm not here to tell you tomorrow in another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or that there are plenty of fishes in the sea. What I will tell you is this:

It's okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you're feeling is not only completely valid but necessary as well. Because it makes you so much more human. And although I can't promise it will get better any time soon, but I can tell you that it will... eventually. Time heals everything.

For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need. :)

Things I Hate

1. Liars
2. School

First month down.

In the blink of an eye, January 2014 is now history. And it's fabulous February now! :)

January has treated me well, went on a vacation to Hong Kong to celebrate Chinese New Year. It was all good despite me skipping school for God knows how many days. An awesome start to a new year and to my 15th. 

Haven't had time to transfer the images yet, so I guess that shall be for the next post. It felt really surreal traveling during school days but all in all I was really glad I skipped school! :P

Will try to update as soon as possible. Till then! xx