Lies

It's hard to trust someone again knowing they lied.

You have this feeling of not wanting to trust them again, but after all you have gone through with them, you still want their trust. You have doubts in your mind because you don't want to risk it anymore.

Knowing they lied to you, just hurts and you don't ever want to be hurt again because of the same reasons, lies. 

Day 320

"I think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, that we don’t ever stop to see that we are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day."

Then I guess it all comes down to whether this is all enough for me.

Untitled

1. It takes years to build trust but a minute to destroy it. 

2. There's a difference between being stupid and being understanding.  

3. Everyone is replaceable. 

4. Heartbreak changes a person. 

5. People forgive but never forget.  

6. Some old wounds never truly heal and bleed again at the slightest word. 

You'll be mine and I'll be yours

       

         

"Because it's about this moment that both people are having when they see each other and all of the sudden the world looks different because everything's changed." 

Suck It Up

I really, really can't take it anymore. I'm on the verge of losing it though I only have to suck it up for the next 3 days. I hope I'm still breathing by then. Anyway, this sucks, always has been and always will. Lately, I think cutting helps? I don't know but ugh I'm so sick and tired of this. 

You do realize that the distance between us now is becoming further and further apart? I'm not even sure whether to go or not to go cause that just makes things worse: a) facing her or b) being a loner. 

Well, sometimes people do take you for granted. Maybe not sometimes, maybe they do it all the time. I always try my best to be accommodating - but when it comes to a time when I need people to be accommodating, they usually don't do the same or they do it reluctantly. Not trying to sound like a saint, but that's life for you. 

I should get back to feeding my already full brain with more unknown knowledge. bye.

3AM

I never liked being awake till the wee hours in my bed because the 3am thoughts creep into my thoughts and drives me insane. They make me think that I'm never good enough for anything or for anyone. They make me think of the good old times and how now things are such a mess because I screwed things up. These thoughts leave heart aches and make me cry till I'm breathless. The best thing you can do about 3am thoughts; never trust them, but I;m just not strong enough to do so. 

Save Me

It has been a long time. 

What am I doing here mobile-blogging when I'm supposed to be studying for finals next week. 

Argh trying to cram everything in my brain ASAP. Though here I am, stuck with Solid Geometry II trying to figure out a way to understand how to count the surface areas. 

Formulas. Formulas everywhere! 

Do you see how messy my study table is. Ahhh fml! 

I Wish I Could Tell You

I wish I could tell you,

About the depth of my pain,

It's almost never ending,

And hard to explain. 

I wish I could tell you, 

How broken I feel inside,

My body just hurts so much, 

But it's easy to hide.

I wish I could tell you, 

I can't function very well,

Difficult to get around,

But no one call tell. 

I wish I could tell you, 

But you wouldn't understand,

That I often have to ask,

For a helping hand.

I wish I could tell you,

How I honestly feel,

But you wouldn't believe me,

That this pain is so real.