29March2014

Empty sheets.

Free mind.

Been sleeping too much these days.

Perhaps I'm really tired. Perhaps I'm bored. Or maybe I just wanna run away to another world.

To know. To seek. To live.

Sometimes dreams serve as a reminder to us.

Some may not be nice, some are the opposite of negativity.

They say what we think in the day, will be reflected in our dreams.

I really don't know.

Curiosity makes me wanna know more about it. 

"But in the end, everyone turns out to be the person they swore they'd never become." 

Maybe someday I'll get drunk. Or get wild. Getaway seems like a better choice too. 

Tragic & beautiful isn't it, slowly evolving to the person you once thought you wouldn't be. It depends if it's good or bad.

In the end, it's just you. It's just you finding out who you really are.

March's coming to an end and April's gonna be a really busy month. Gosh, I need more holiday time. 

Leave the past behind and go beyond

Instead of allowing my past mistakes to teach me to help create a better future, I let it make me more afraid of the future..

classic

"My heart's against your chest. Your lips pressed to my neck. I've fallen for your eyes. But they don't know me yet." - Ed Sheeran 

"I just want to run to you
and I hope you know that
every time I don't
I almost do"

01.03.14

"I never thought my problems stemmed from the media’s impossibly perfect portrayal of women. I still don’t think it has, but I’m probably wrong. What I do know is that it is so much about the power. Everyone wants to feel beautiful. If you’re not beautiful, you’re not good enough. You aren’t paid as much at work. People you’re attracted to don’t give you as much attention. You don’t feel as worthy.

I know that “pretty” is a choice. A choice of mindset. I also know that I’ve made the choice to eat. But I still feel inadequate sometimes, I still won’t let anyone love me without the lights off, I still will yearn to hear the words “You are beautiful” but doubt their truthfulness every time."

I am Losing Myself.

With every high comes a low. But not ever low comes from a high. And right now, I am at the lowest point I have ever been in my entire life. I feel like I am losing myself. I'm falling behind in life and in what is expected of me. My facade that I try so hard to hold up is slowly fading. I don't know what to say except that I'm scared.

I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.

Each time your lips utter a lie, I wish you knew that I always know it.

You know what they say about standing on two boats?

I have on leg on a wooden raft and the other on the edge of a ferry.

And this part of you is what makes me step away from the steadier board.

Away from you.

So please, don't make me step any further away.

You know those people who talk about you behind your back? That's where they belong, behind your back.

it's okay

I know you've lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it's irrelevant. You cannot control the depth of another wound of another soul inflicts on you.

Which is why I'm not here to tell you tomorrow in another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or that there are plenty of fishes in the sea. What I will tell you is this:

It's okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you're feeling is not only completely valid but necessary as well. Because it makes you so much more human. And although I can't promise it will get better any time soon, but I can tell you that it will... eventually. Time heals everything.

For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need. :)