It has been awhile.
The feeling's back again. The fear. The fear of losing. The fear of possessing. I honestly thought that I would be so much more stronger than this. But it is bigger than me. I admit defeat entirely. Every now and then, I am still trying to get back on the right track but all I see is me going astray. What happened to my goals, what happened to my dreams... I miss and am in need of some alone time. I have been so busy with school, with friends, with pleasing everyone else but myself. I don't know how to be selfish, I don't know how to put myself first. I have been tired lately. Even in sleep, I find no respite. I don't want all that is left of me at the end of the day to be crumbs and dead leaves. Still trying to find light in darkness...
"So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."
Never leaving my happiness in someone else's hands.
ME, MYSELF, I.
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