Sephora's Santa Factory 2015

16 years ago..

16 years ago
I came out with a smile
I was held and praised 
With love and joy from everyone
I was cleaned and clothed and named

7 years ago
I woke up with a smile
Because I was a child
And I knew I had family
I was small and fun 
And happy

5 years ago
I woke up with a smile
Because I went to go play
And I knew I had friends
I was happy and playful
And full of joy

3 years ago
I woke up with a smile
Not because I meant it
But because I faked it
I was sad and lonely
And covered in scars

Today I woke
But I wish I hadn't 

I want you to know, that I'm all yours

“I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with” — Fannie Flagg. 

Random thought ( Not really, it's been quite a permanent one)

Some people fret over feelings like they don't belong anywhere. The problem with me? I feel like I belong everywhere, and I find myself tearing myself apart all the time. And I am obsessed — obsessed with self-conceived obligations and unnecessary commitment. It is always what he want, what she wants, what they want. I've forgotten what I want anymore.

Lessons from 2014, Dedications and Hello 2015!

Well, hello there! As we all know, 2014 went by just in the blink of an eye. At the beginning of the year, as I sat in class, I was thinking about how slowly 2014 was going to go by. Boy, I was definitely wrong! It was one heck of a bittersweet year, profuse in laughter, tears, rekindling old friendships and making new ones. 2014, you've been somewhat great and memorable, but honestly I hope that 2015 would be much better.

2014 has taught me a whole lot of new things.

• Nothing in life goes as planned. Always have a Plan B!

• Shit happens. That's just part of life. Suck it up.

• Shrug it off, plaster a fake smile, chins up and move on.

• If you're having a problem, think of it and see whether it'll matter in 2 weeks time. Will it? Most probably not.

• Crying is just absolutely pointless and won't solve anything but it's alright to break down once in awhile because you've been strong for far too long. 

• Problems are really easy to solve but we insist on making them difficult to solve.

• You can't please everyone. 

• Life is unfair and that's just the way it is. 

• Never ever lower your standards. Instead, make that person rise up to your standards.

• Always bid someone 'Goodbye'. You never know when's the last time you'll be able to see them.

• Be open minded about things.

• Don't wear your heart out on your sleeves. 

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my family and all my friends (you know who you are) for making 2014 one heck of a compelling and adventurous year! You guys stood by me, supported me, lent me a shoulder to cry on, and listened to my whining of people that constantly incensed and riled me. I couldn't possibly thank you you enough but thank you so so so so so so so so so much for everything. I love you guys! 

So, that's it for today's entry. I would like to thank you, (YEAH, YOU) for reading. Even if this is the first post  you've ever read on my blog or the second or whatever, I would like to thank you for spending time on my blog. Wishing all of you a Happy New Year and I hope you guys have an auspicious and great year ahead of you! It's been fun (not really) 2014, but it's time for you to go. Hello 2015! 

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." - Oprah Winfrey 

Do you know?

Do you know what is it like
to breathe
onto a cold window
just to see if there is
something warm
left inside of you?

It's better to have nobody, than to have
someone who is half there, or doesn't
want to be there.

Life has been rather frustrating for me lately, I don't know if it's because of how tired I am or is it mood swings or that it's generally a bad month for me.

Recently, I see things more colorful than before, true colors of people and things that probably mean a lot to me might just all fade away in time. Is this part of growing up? Having to deal with people constantly leaving, changing or maybe, they're never who I thought they were. Not even a single bit.

Everyone's wearing a mask. I honestly think that it's better to be alone sometimes. I have nothing to lose and I'm not afraid of losing anyone anymore. I'm ready to accept any shit that's gonna come in my way in 2015.

Goodnight.

Untitled

累了 ，tired,

伤心 ，sad,

和寂寞 ，and lonely. 

What the heck?

GRRRRRRRR.. If this is how you wanna play, I'll play along with you. Just don't regret it when it's too late.

Sleep it off

Whenever I'm having a bad day, I sleep because that seems to solve everything... temporarily. I choose to sleep to put my mind at ease and to forget about life for a moment. I know that when I wake up the problem will be there again. But it feels so good to be asleep when dreams are better than reality. Although sometimes when it's really bad, my problems take over my dreams. ):

Sick of everything

Sick of being replaced; sick of insecurities; sick of falling in love; sick of getting hurt.

Someone please tell me what's the point of holding on when I've already held on for so long, till the extend where I probably know what's going to happen next? It's just history repeating itself all over again, isn't it? Only someone like me would be so stupid to be waiting for someone this long despite getting hurt from the same person countless times. 

I finally let my guard down, but once again, it was a huge mistake. How can anyone be so insensitive towards someone else's feelings? I really don't understand. 

Actually, what hurts the most is that I thought you were different from the rest. Blaming it on myself for being so useless, so weak. 

I've told myself countless times that I've got to stop letting someone's existence ruin my mood, but can I? I think that I'm strong enough, but sometimes it just hurts. 

I just wished that I didn't have to care about anything or everything at all. Maybe it's because I cared too much which landed me into this shitload of trouble. Maybe I just need to isolate myself from everything for a period of time. Too much shit happening lately, I don't even know where to start from.

Am I suppose to keep waiting and hold on? Or am I suppose to just let go? I don't know. 

On a side note, this totally made my day. :')