Sick of everything

Sick of being replaced; sick of insecurities; sick of falling in love; sick of getting hurt.

Someone please tell me what's the point of holding on when I've already held on for so long, till the extend where I probably know what's going to happen next? It's just history repeating itself all over again, isn't it? Only someone like me would be so stupid to be waiting for someone this long despite getting hurt from the same person countless times. 

I finally let my guard down, but once again, it was a huge mistake. How can anyone be so insensitive towards someone else's feelings? I really don't understand. 

Actually, what hurts the most is that I thought you were different from the rest. Blaming it on myself for being so useless, so weak. 

I've told myself countless times that I've got to stop letting someone's existence ruin my mood, but can I? I think that I'm strong enough, but sometimes it just hurts. 

I just wished that I didn't have to care about anything or everything at all. Maybe it's because I cared too much which landed me into this shitload of trouble. Maybe I just need to isolate myself from everything for a period of time. Too much shit happening lately, I don't even know where to start from.

Am I suppose to keep waiting and hold on? Or am I suppose to just let go? I don't know. 

On a side note, this totally made my day. :')